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Sharing a promo with you all. There are still a couple sessions remaining. Please share with anyone looking to find their way in these extraordinary times. 

The promotion that I am offering is coming to an end this Monday, April 13, 2020. If you want to have a free session with me just email me at and let me know. There are no fees for this session.

Let’s find the way
Coach Carlos

The One I Love

The One You Love

Now that we are sure that this wasn’t just a bad dream how do we come to our reality? Our we Losing our Religion or Everybody Hurts (I couldn’t resist using a few more REM songs), or should we start facing that our existence has dramatically changed and it might not ever be the same? However, it doesn’t mean that we can’t change it. We have a prime example of what people can do in an emergency. The healthcare community is showing us what is possible when people rise together to take on the challenge of an outbreak and save countless lives! 

This is not a miracle although it does sound like it. This is a community that is doing their job and putting their own lives on the line. We all owe the medical community a great debt for rising up and helping others. They are putting their lives on the line literally. They are the heroes of this battle. Join me in keeping healthcare heroes in your prayers especially if you have friends or family members in this profession. 

Feeling isolated or down during these extraordinary times? Shoot me a message and let’s connect:

It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)

REM made us aware of this catchy song in 1987. Thirty-three years later this song is not quite as fun as it was. Sadly, this fun song suddenly feels like a dirge. It is still the same song, but the meaning has changed. Look, I’m not trying to ruin the song for anyone, but it does show that things can change in a moment. I am sure that you have suddenly gone from “What? You’re kidding!” to “We can’t go outside.” to “I don’t understand how something like this can happen so quickly.” to finally “People are dying at an alarming rate.”

I want to wake up tomorrow and find out it was a bad dream. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to happen. In these times that things seemingly don’t make sense we need to brace ourselves and follow those that can help us and show us the way. The doctors and nurses that understand what is going on and are trying to keep us safe. This is not the time to argue with health professionals. This is the time to do what is right and take care of yourself and family. 

Maybe then, you, and I and our families will feel fine.

Time for a Break

3 Simple Steps

Do you ever feel like you have a life that really isn’t your own life? Does it feel like you are doing things for everyone else and not yourself? Like someone handed you a script and all you can do is read your lines. I feel that way many times. I imagine that some of you who are reading this feel the same. We get trapped. We do what we are expected to do. The script says go to work. You go to work. But when does the script say that you have time for a break or your own time? This is not what I signed up for.

Unfortunately, if you believe that someone is going to give you a break or say you need a break as much as we would like to hear that, it is likely not going to happen. Everybody wants to have time to think, to breathe, and relax. But the only person that can really release you to have time to yourself is you. 

Many people would say that time for you is a luxury. I believe that time for yourself is a necessity! You are busy. You have things to do. But if you portion out your time shouldn’t you set up time to be with yourself? Check in with you? How are you feeling and what do you need?

Here is the thing. If you do not take that time to be with yourself no one is going to do it. You are the only person that can call you out and you need a break. Don’t wait for someone to rescue you because that break isn’t coming unless you set it up. Prioritize yourself and your time. First, get yourself something you have wanted for a while. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be a book, a game, or even an afternoon latte. Show yourself that you deserve it. Second, spend an afternoon with someone you haven’t talked to in a while and catch up with them. Finally, go to a place that has beauty and makes you feel alive. Enjoy!

Three Concrete Steps for Finding Your Way

Having Trouble Getting Started? So Am I — Here are some ideas…

Carlos Lossada

Carlos Lossada Jul 16, 2018 · 3 min read (originally published on Medium for JRNI)

I have been waiting for something to happen workwise and it hasn’t. I have been feeling lost. In these situations, we often stop doing the things that have been so useful for our routine. You get up, stretch, read, meditate, write, or whatever works for you. When we no longer have a job or some type of reason to get up and face the world, the tendency is to forget our routines and practices that are so important to us when we are really busy. When working we become little geniuses that can find creative ways to make our time matter. But when we go into a mode of having finished a project, moving to the next job, having time for other things, or simply having trouble finding a new job, our infrastructure tends to fall apart or completely disappears.

Number 1: Stop worrying about your situation and find your anchors.Your anchors are the things that you like and feel confident about. This is your solid ground. This is where you can show what you can do even if you are not getting paid. It could be helping out a friend in their business, volunteering at a school, or displaying your talents in some different arena. We are always much more comfortable when we are working and helping others. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves about how knowledgeable and skilled we are and how helpful we can be.

Number 2: Take a step forward or take one back, but movement is key. Maybe take that step backward because you put too much on your plate. Your expectations might be not in tune with where you are in life. Or, maybe it is time for a step forward and a greater challenge. Sometimes we need to push ourselves further so we can see if we can handle it. Again, often times we get stuck in a rut. But remember, if we are stuck we simply need to find the movement that will help extricate us from whatever is holding us back.

Number 3:Reach out to someone that knows you and supports you. Often we have trouble reaching out to others because of embarrassment, pride, and not wanting others to know what is going on with you. This is something that I suffer from. I don’t like to give out information when things are not going well. At the same time, I lament that I could use some help. Well, you and I cannot get help unless we ask for it. I am a life coach and I still struggle with this concept. But the way I see it, if I am willing to write this for anyone to read then reaching out doesn’t seem that bad.

In conclusion, if you have reached this point of the article then you are ready to change your patterns and find your help. Reach into yourself and/or reach out to someone you trust. The moment you take that step you are starting the process of getting help and getting back on track. Go with it and see how things can change for you!

Can You Fall in Love with Yourself?

3 Ways to See Yourself Differently

This is not a narcissist manifesto. If it was, the topic would be 3 Ways to Make Other People Compliment You More on your Sculpted Body or Finding 10 Ways to Make Yourself Even More Appealing on Social Media (if that is even possible). Thankfully, this is not. This post is about looking at yourself in a different light. A positive light.

For many of us it is very difficult to feel the love from, and for, ourselves. We are often quick to criticize ourselves and very slow in acknowledging what we do well. Looking at ourselves in a positive light can be very difficult. Here are three ways to see yourself differently.

First, pull out your resume and show it to an impartial friend or colleague.

Focus on your accomplishments, degrees, years of service, writing, creating, and any other awesome skills you have. These are things that you have learned, cultivated, and refined. These are your traits and you should cherish them. (And absolutely don’t waste your time on what you haven’t accomplished yet!) We can all whip out a list of things we’ve never done but are certain we want to. Stay with what you’ve done and not what you haven’t.

Second, find something that you wrote, created, or accomplished at any point in your life which shows your flexibility and creativity.

This could be an article you wrote, poetry, a story, photography, artistic creation, a class you took, martial arts, music expression, or a journal you have written for years. Congratulate yourself for finding an expressive side that shows passion and creativity.

Third, start (or continue) that dream or goal that you have put off to the side.

Don’t let it slide by. Whether or not you are successful in starting up whatever it is that you want to do, it will never happen unless you take action. The things that you have listed above show that you are creative, thoughtful, and motivated when you are committed. Go forward without regrets or apologies! The only way that you will liberate yourself from the shouldn’t or can’t is to go forward and see how far you can get. This only happens if you take a step.

What step(s) will you take?

Originally posted for JRNI on Medium April 2018

Don’t Forget About You

Unleashing Positive Momentum

I originally called this piece, “At Least I Have Me”. I started off in a sarcastic voice and was focusing on the negative. I say this because it often starts that way. We feel down, and it is so easy to go down the massive drop like on a rollercoaster except that when we hit the bottom of the rollercoaster drop there is usually another shot up a high bank that allows you to gain momentum for the next drop. But life is not rollercoaster. Sometimes, when we go down we stay down for a while. This is why it is important to find that next hill that gives you momentum.

Let’s call this piece Don’t Forget About You.It’s kind of like the song in the movie The Breakfast Club. Let’s not forget about the you that is energetic, evolving, believing (or wanting to believe), and hopeful. This is our starting point. Every moment we have the opportunity to make a commitment to do something. We start off with energy, hope, and enthusiasm. What happens next is dictated by our own determination and boundaries. This is where we find a new path. It doesn’t always need to be a complete restructuring.

Often times we are on the right track but we overestimate or underestimate the amount of time that is needed for certain things to happen. Things happen in the time that they happen. The one thing that is true is that we will often get signs that let us know whether or not we are likely to get what we want (whether we accept that message is up to each individual).

This is where we have to search our memories and trust that we have done awesome things in our lives and have overcome obstacles. We tend to forget the paper we wrote that was stunning, putting together a presentation that blew people away, or the time our coworkers marveled at how professional and thorough we were when a deadline came and we hit it on time. Those are the experiences in life in which we have to remember that we triumphed. Yes, we were nervous and there was fear, but we were bold, innovative, and daring in spite of it. That energy and creativity is in us now.

Don’t let the negative voices stop you before you start. Just break out your inner GPS and let your inspiration take you where you need to go. Remember, unleashing positive momentum is an amazing thing. You are an amazing person. This is you. Show who you are.

Originally published in May 2018 for JRNI on Medium

You Must Create Your Own Opportunities

Take a chance on yourself

What goes around comes around. How many times have you heard this? It is inevitable, or so it would seem. I do believe that things do come around in life, but it doesn’t always look the same. So many times, we are hoping for that opportunity that we missed or were afraid to take, but unfortunately, it does not look same when it comes around. Just like we change in our lives, opportunities also change in terms of where they pop up or how they look. We hem and haw about things because we are afraid that this isn’t the opportunity we were hoping for. Or we spend our time hoping that something more familiar will come by. Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy.

Opportunities are just that, opportunities. We shape the opportunity into what we want it to be, but only if you go after it and work on it. How many times have we said, “This is the perfect opportunity for me.”? We are excited and we tick off the reasons why it is the perfect opportunity. It is exciting and uplifting! But how many times do we also find that it isn’t what we thought it would be? It was more work than we imagined, or the situation wasn’t as perfect for us as we thought. The opportunity no longer looks like something great and we might decide to let it go or look for something else. There is nothing wrong with that unless we do that with most of the things in our lives because then we will never get anywhere.

We’ve done this before. Chances are we will do it again. The question to be answered is how many opportunities are we going to let go because they weren’t perfect? Is it a job we could have had? A person that we might have wanted to date? An activity that we wanted to try but were afraid? These are opportunities that are in front of us all the time. When will we try them? These opportunities are not out there somewhere. These opportunities are before you and I. It is just a question of which ones we are going to pursue. Time continues to flow and opportunities pass us by. Maybe it is time to create some new opportunities for us. It might not be exactly what we want right now, but it can lead us to somewhere we have never been.

Let’s take a chance!

Originally published on Medium for JRNI August 2018

4 Steps to Build Your Self-Confidence

Confidence isn’t something we’re born with, it’s something that needs to be cultivated.

For most of my life I have only known two kinds of confidence: over-confidence and no confidence. I’d like to say that I am a confident person but I never had a sense of what confidence truly looked like. I grew up believing that confidence was something that you had when you did things right.

Unfortunately, that did not make sense to me. As I grew up I started to understand that confidence came with some type of plan and action. It wasn’t about the loudest person or the toughest person. A confident person would do what they felt was necessary to get something done and it usually included some fear. I figured, maybe it was two sides of the same coin, and it is.

Confidence comes from inside each one of us and it involve thought and action. It comes from belief in ourselves based on what we do in life.

I have spent most of my life trying to develop my sense of self confidence and it has been with me all along. It’s similar to what Glinda the Good Witch tells Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz that she always had the power but needed to learn that she had it. Yeah, I was never fond of that part of the movie, but it does relate to confidence. We need to take action to understand what we can do in life and, in doing this, we gain confidence in our abilities and actions. We learn that fear is the back side of confidence. It’s like flipping a coin. Heads or tails. You can’t really have one without the other.

When we push forward and do things that scare us, it is the fear that makes itself known. When a child manages to get their balance on a bike or a skateboard we cheer for them because they are taking a chance and doing it while the child usually is very vocal about their fear. In the end, we focus on all the positives of the experience to help them grow.

So why is it so difficult to do this with ourselves? The concepts of things like belief, strength of character, and confidence are also attached to failure, pain, and embarrassment. I have spent a long time focusing on the negative side in my life, and it hasn’t helped me to get better unless it is connected to overcoming perceived failures and motivating myself to be successful. Look at both sides of the coin and decide what you want to do? Heads or tails? Going forward or looking back?

Pick your path. It is the only way to get moving. Here are four steps to start building confidence in you!

1. Show up for yourself. Whether it is work, starting a business, exercise, meditation, doing a new routine — just show up and do it. It is a victory for you!

2. Invest in yourself. Make time for the things that you want to do on a regular basis including downtime afterwards. It will allow you the time and space to make it a habit. You are important and need this time!

3. Don’t get lost in your head. It is easy to make comparisons with people that are already down the road of exercise, finding a different job, looking for love, etc. Your path can only be lived by you! Cherish it!

4. Your best self has to include believing in yourself! We give so much attention to our negative thoughts that many times these are the only things we hear. In this case, listen to the voice that wants to get better. You can be your most dynamic self just by allowing yourself to grow no matter how difficult it might seem. To quote Lao Tzu, “Every journey (or JRNI) begins with a single step.” Take the first step! You will be glad you did!

To navigate your own self-confidence journey with Carlos, book a session with him here.

Are you interested in learning more about how you can cultivate the different thoughts, feelings, and experiences you want more of? We have a whole class dedicated to positive psychology in our Catalyst Coaching Intensive. Learn more here.JRNI

Real Life Coaches. Real Life Community. Real Life.

Published in March 2018 for JRNI on Medium

Happy New Year…Now What?

This is the time to do what we have resolved to do for the new year. Great! How do you do that? I would like a job that pays me more money. Like many people it is always difficult to figure out what is the first step. Often, there is a list. Make more money. Get an advanced degree. Make more money. But how do we go about doing things that take us where we want to be? You put yourself out there. You start with the mindset that you will do the things that you have wanted to do and you do it.

It doesn’t matter if it seems impossible because you have started with a mindset that you believe that you are going to do what you said you would do. You make the impossible possible because you create it, announce it, and put it out there. The rest is chance and belief. If you do it long enough you are going to see that you will find something that you didn’t expect and it will lead you down a road that you would never have taken if you hadn’t written this. This is the time of the year to put those beliefs to work. Momentum does work. You just have to give it a push to get moving!