Times Like These

Peering over the Pandemic Wall

It’s times like these you learn to live again.” The Foo Fighters got it right. We are learning to live again particularly because our own existence is at stake and nothing is a given. At the same time, we have to take the chances that we get. Step out into your neighborhood and get to know people. This is not something that I would have said three months ago, but now I’ve met some of my neighbors and I feel like I know some people that are helpful people, particularly in a pandemic. Four months ago, I would not have ever uttered the word pandemic or COVID-19 but here we are. This is a different time.

We all know now that anything can happen at any time. However, we are peering over the pandemic wall that is soon to be a return to work or finding a new place to work.

We all need to be better people to others. We need to believe and embrace that we are better people than what we show sometimes as individuals. We need to be more understanding of others.

If you have the time this holiday weekend, consider talking to one of your neighbors and see how they are doing. I did this recently with one of my neighbors and he let me know that he had bought a screen about the size of a garage door where he plans to project Disney movies on the weekends. It is a nice and safe way to watch a movie with others but still respecting the six-foot rule for social distancing. It seems like a nice way to be social with our neighbors and getting to know them better. 

Thanks to the Foo Fighters as well! 

Once in a Lifetime

Letting the Days Go By

If you are a fan of the Talking Heads you will know the song Once in a Lifetime. The lyrics in this song are very compelling to me right now because often we do let the days go by and now everyone’s problem is that it isn’t the same as it ever was. We all know that time goes by, but now we are acutely aware that it is passing slowly because we no longer are able to go to the park or to theatres, or even just to eat as a family or with friends. That is what we are dealing with right now.

We cannot look at this pandemic like it is something that we can schedule on the calendar because it goes to its own beat. The days of “same as it ever was” is not a given anymore. Who would have thought that this would be the new normal? And yet, many people seem to have more time to devote to their loved ones. Look at it as a gift. Spend that time wisely and if you can, have some fun with your family or friends.

Look, this is my first pandemic, and I am viewing this situation as something to find meaning and hope from. The opportunity is there. Take the time to be with your loved ones. If you want to try something different here are two examples: (1) Start writing a journal or filming a video journal so that you will remember what it was like during the pandemic; (2) Make a theme dinner once a week. It could be a who done it mystery or just the dinner is a mystery. 

Spend the time with your loved ones. Those are the people count most in our lives!

Find Your Anchors

Having Trouble Getting Started? So Am I – Here are some ideas…

I have been waiting for something to happen workwise and it hasn’t yet. I have been feeling lost waiting to get back to work and not knowing when I will be back. In these situations, we often stop doing the things that have been so useful for our routine. You get up, stretch, read, meditate, write, or whatever works for you. When we no longer have a job or some type of reason to get up and face the world, the tendency is to forget our routines and practices that are so important to us when we are really busy. When working we become little geniuses that can find creative ways to make our time matter. But when we go into a mode of having finished a project, moving to the next job, having time for other things, or simply having trouble finding a new job, our infrastructure tends to fall apart or completely disappears. 

Number 1:  Stop worrying about your situation and find your anchors. Your anchors are the things that you like and feel confident about. This is your solid ground. This is where you can show what you can do even if you are not getting paid. It could be helping out a friend in their business, volunteering at a school, or displaying your talents in some different arena. We are always much more comfortable when we are working and helping others. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves about how knowledgeable and skilled we are and how helpful we can be.

Number 2:  Take a step forward or take one back, but movement is key. Maybe take that step backward because you put too much on your plate. Your expectations might be not in tune with where you are in life. Or, maybe it is time for a step forward and a greater challenge. Sometimes we need to push ourselves further so we can see if we can handle it. Again, often times we get stuck in a rut. But remember, if we are stuck we simply need to find the movement that will help extricate us from whatever is holding us back. 

Number 3: Reach out to someone that knows you and supports you. Often we have trouble reaching out to others because of embarrassment, pride, and not wanting others to know what is going on with you. This is something that I suffer from. I don’t like to give out information when things are not going well. At the same time, I lament that I could use some help. Well, you and I cannot get help unless we ask for it. I am a life coach and I still struggle with this concept. But the way I see it, if I am willing to write this for anyone to read then reaching out doesn’t seem that bad. 

In conclusion, if you have reached this point of the article then you are ready to change your patterns and find your help. Reach into yourself and/or reach out to someone you trust. The moment you take that step you are starting the process of getting help and getting back on track. Go with it and see how things can change for you!

A Horse with No Name

The desert doesn’t accommodate you. It stretches you.

I have always liked the America song called A Horse with No Name because it made me feel like I was alone in the desert trying to find meaning in a place of solitude. The desert seemed to me a place of finding multiple meanings or slowly dying. In my world, the desert was something to survive because of the extreme heat in the day and the cold at night.

There are not voices in the desert but constant whispers in our ears. A place of finding secrets, majestic vistas, intense solitude, personal revelations or just a place of silent magic. The desert is a place where anything real or imagined can seemingly come to life. It is the place where mirages seem real and our thoughts are enhanced in the awesome beauty of the desert.

So why am I spending time talking about the desert? It is metaphor for life. Life is what you make it. We have all heard this saying. But the desert doesn’t accommodate you. It stretches you and makes you find shelter and water. You go to the desert understanding that the climate and conditions can be life threatening. You have to plan. You have to be prepared. The desert shows its beauty as well as its extremes.

The ironic part of this moment is that we are living in that definition of desert now. We have neighbors but it is difficult to talk to them. Even identifying our neighbors can be tricky with the masks and keeping a safe distance. COVID-19 has created a virtual desert where we have to mind our driveways and distance. I understand why we have to mind our space, but I miss just being able to say hello to a neighbor without adjusting my mask or putting on gloves. I am looking forward to the day when we can just say hello again. I’m sure many of you do too! 

How are you doing with the virtual desert? Let me know.

The Struggle Is Real

Putting your best self front and center

The struggle is real. It came out like the groundhog with a nasty edge. It potentially signaled that we are going undercover for three months or more.  Who signed us up for this spring? The truth is that we can do amazing things in our lives but this spring the struggle is real.      

Changes in our world whether they be personal, professional, social, spiritual, or health and wellness have a great impact on our ability to live the life we want or wish for particularly now. This spring is about belief. It is also about flexibility and being willing to make new patterns. The ability is there. The experience still applies. Things are faster paced, and change comes quickly. However, it seems like nature wants to slow us down. It is about belief, but it also is about being flexible and realizing that what worked for us in 2010 may not be working as well in 2020.

Keeping up with the changes in technologies and understanding how the world operates can be challenging. However, at the center of each of us is a store of information that we have amassed over our life and the ability to adapt is there. It means putting our best self-front and center and going at the challenges that we are trying to avoid. Creativity, belief, drive, personality, quirkiness, ability to see things that others may not – these are our tools and your advantage. There is no one quite like you. Be that best person that you can be, and it will be more than enough.

If you need a coach or someone to help you make sense of the journey you find yourself on in these uncertain times, I can be reached at coachcarloslossada@gmail.com

Coaching Promo

Free 30 Minute Session

Sharing a promo with you all. There are still a couple sessions remaining. Please share with anyone looking to find their way in these extraordinary times. 

The promotion that I am offering is coming to an end this Monday, April 13, 2020. If you want to have a free session with me just email me at coachcarloslossada@gmail.com and let me know. There are no fees for this session.

Let’s find the way
Coach Carlos

The One I Love

The One You Love

Now that we are sure that this wasn’t just a bad dream how do we come to our reality? Our we Losing our Religion or Everybody Hurts (I couldn’t resist using a few more REM songs), or should we start facing that our existence has dramatically changed and it might not ever be the same? However, it doesn’t mean that we can’t change it. We have a prime example of what people can do in an emergency. The healthcare community is showing us what is possible when people rise together to take on the challenge of an outbreak and save countless lives! 

This is not a miracle although it does sound like it. This is a community that is doing their job and putting their own lives on the line. We all owe the medical community a great debt for rising up and helping others. They are putting their lives on the line literally. They are the heroes of this battle. Join me in keeping healthcare heroes in your prayers especially if you have friends or family members in this profession. 

Feeling isolated or down during these extraordinary times? Shoot me a message and let’s connect: coachcarloslossada@gmail.com

It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)

REM made us aware of this catchy song in 1987. Thirty-three years later this song is not quite as fun as it was. Sadly, this fun song suddenly feels like a dirge. It is still the same song, but the meaning has changed. Look, I’m not trying to ruin the song for anyone, but it does show that things can change in a moment. I am sure that you have suddenly gone from “What? You’re kidding!” to “We can’t go outside.” to “I don’t understand how something like this can happen so quickly.” to finally “People are dying at an alarming rate.”

I want to wake up tomorrow and find out it was a bad dream. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to happen. In these times that things seemingly don’t make sense we need to brace ourselves and follow those that can help us and show us the way. The doctors and nurses that understand what is going on and are trying to keep us safe. This is not the time to argue with health professionals. This is the time to do what is right and take care of yourself and family. 

Maybe then, you, and I and our families will feel fine.

Time for a Break

3 Simple Steps

Do you ever feel like you have a life that really isn’t your own life? Does it feel like you are doing things for everyone else and not yourself? Like someone handed you a script and all you can do is read your lines. I feel that way many times. I imagine that some of you who are reading this feel the same. We get trapped. We do what we are expected to do. The script says go to work. You go to work. But when does the script say that you have time for a break or your own time? This is not what I signed up for.

Unfortunately, if you believe that someone is going to give you a break or say you need a break as much as we would like to hear that, it is likely not going to happen. Everybody wants to have time to think, to breathe, and relax. But the only person that can really release you to have time to yourself is you. 

Many people would say that time for you is a luxury. I believe that time for yourself is a necessity! You are busy. You have things to do. But if you portion out your time shouldn’t you set up time to be with yourself? Check in with you? How are you feeling and what do you need?

Here is the thing. If you do not take that time to be with yourself no one is going to do it. You are the only person that can call you out and you need a break. Don’t wait for someone to rescue you because that break isn’t coming unless you set it up. Prioritize yourself and your time. First, get yourself something you have wanted for a while. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be a book, a game, or even an afternoon latte. Show yourself that you deserve it. Second, spend an afternoon with someone you haven’t talked to in a while and catch up with them. Finally, go to a place that has beauty and makes you feel alive. Enjoy!